Self disappointment~ =((

I hope this disappoinment can wake me up. im very dissappointed with myself bcos it has been so long nearly six months since my dad left us. I have not changed. i always take life for granted and didnt make my life a meaningful ones


我是真的真的对自己非常的感到失望。 应为我就是不会感到惭愧和不懂的改过自新呢？
我心内现在是多么的伤心因为我很没用， 我很清楚拳拳的原因。 已半年了为何我还没醒来? 就快二十一岁了还不懂事， 我希望从明天起， 我不只是光着口说大话却没把事做好。


What can i do to change? my brother already told me that night infront of my dad in order for a person to be motivate one has to start writing down what one wants to achieve and write down what one needs to accomplish to reach the aim. will that really work for me im such a lazy person. I must really change for a better person. i need to grow up from now and be more sensible and responsible from now.

I thinking i should not say maybe i should try to jot down what i want in life is now i shall type down what i want to achieve. i know myself well enough. recalled back to that afternoon. Why i couldnt make my promise all i know now it;s just because i know i can not fulfil my promise to my dad. and i know i will always cry, tear infront of my cpu screen will not work from now. I need to change for a better and live a better life becoming a better person and never let my family to worry about me now. i will not blame myself for being a failure all these while only thing i can do for myself and my dad starting from now is to not be lazy and work, study and be a good girl.

I dont want to just make an empty promise now.
NO POINT CRYING NOW!!!!!

im going to list down what i want to achieve now. and must be realistic and achieveable to motivate myself.

- I got to start reading up notes for my work progress
- concentrate on my studies from now and make sure i will do well from this apr semester.
- do not waste much time from now i need to grow up.
okay be more specific
~ I need to start reading up my service thingy by this week
~ I need to make sure i know everything aboiiut my work
~ i always complete my task when i am assign to on the day itself to break the habit of procrastinating.
~ i will slowly kick away the habit of laziness.
~ must always say it and do it,
~ finish my course by june.
~ add on a new wish to my birthday this apr. I must do it once things are assign and not to be lazy anymore.


Because that will destroy me

i want to do something that will let my dad feel proud of me, I LOVE YOU MY DAD & MOM together with my two sisters. I love you all much. I want to change myswelf from now for you all and myself.


this will be my lil promise from now to myself. i must not break it. pleasse.
 i will not end my passage here coz i believe there will be a better ending. =)?

signing off
pinksecretive lady