Back after a decade...

 Dusting this area again. have neglected this writing space as my English is bad. my feelings may not make sense/ below just random thoughts without organising my thoughts, let it be raw.

Shall I pour out my feelings onto this blog? will it be a safe space? I felt there's no longer a safe space to journal thoughts anymore, even in writing. The world had turned into commercial and judgemental whenever someone speak honestly / act how they feel at certain moments/ phase in life. Or human always like that across all past generations? Always felt not to overshare things/ or interesting that amazed me, may not appear the same to others.

What have I become so far? Been working in Admin field for the past ten years (from receptionist, HR, production assistant and PR assistant). To be honest, none I liked that much. But I could do receptionist well, production assistant responsibilities require more physical efforts. 

Will my life be different and get better after graduating from part-time visual course? I always doubt myself. How to stop having multiple or second thoughts on my decision made. 

Will my life be different if I were to just take up Indesign or layout skills and practice as PR layout / packing person? How will it be different if I were to restart from zero as an entirely fresh but "old"  curious millennial. Will I even get an internship opportunity by this October / before my course ends march 2026. I always wonder which industry will I design for?

if I were to just take up InDesign, how far will that take me? Just being able to do presentation editorial layout? how soon/ how long would I be able to survive doing that in coming years? I know that no matter either path I take, it will be stressful and swam of workload. Drawing an exact career path is full of uncertainty being an adult, I felt that I was never enough/ ready to deal with on-coming challenges without talents, just skills. Will my career direction be right this time? I have no one to advise me. I do not know which would I be able to do well and succeed. I wish to start a family, of course, but the fear I have from setting out my life path already faced so much obstacles, wasted many years getting lost in life. 

Now I am on the path to graduating from vis comm (2nd diploma) in my mid-30s, I felt at least I tried, get to experience as a part time design student. Just like what people said, life is about experiencing. But I wasn't ready to face what's on-coming, as I felt I'm lack of talent and experience in the design field which continuously facing ageism issue within the industry. But I do remind myself to stay curious, fear of missing out what's trending / inspo so not to be stay out of place or design stuff that are uncool. To me, I do felt imbalance when design has to steer in directions of what's social trends for brands to stay relatable than having the brand uniqueness (Kodak, yes failure in just staying as OG, not following trend). What can I do? I can only follow / spot trends then add on my style to be accepted by public. Why life need to be validated by surrounding, so to fit myself into some group? Why design can only look pleasing to eyes when it's populated / trending, such as aesthetics comes first before design principles? made me doubts all the times. I know, I know, as designer, the correct way of design shall be practical/ functional and not focus on just solely aesthetics. but for the sale of public eyes, sigh.... I guess I need to find a balance between trending/ and holding on the design principles. sometimes design can just be aesthetic without considering design principle/ or timeless..... 

I really wonder, where will design take me.... for my mid-career switch......in tiny island country.  

sigh, I dont even understand my above thoughts actually. 

Woah i cant believe i used an hour for nightly skin care

1. Cleansing milk
2. In shower body conditioner
3. Facial cleansing with brush device
4. Toner
5. Essence water
6. Mask
7. Eye cream
8. serum
9. Emulsion
10. Sleeping mask/ rejuvenating oil
11. Night body cream
12. Foot cream
13. Hand cream
14. Lip balm.

Omg. Yes,  nightly. I wonder, do you do these too? Women,  women. 🍭 alright time for sleep. Time check 10.49pm singapore.

Feeling needs to be motivated, get the engine going. And move on from the wrong

Face. It.
Stand firm and be yourself.
Be law by law. Listen to myself then consider others. Protect myself than others. Money is the most impt. Equally impt as relationship but certain relationship can comes after money.
I promise to be myself n be truthful to myself from today. I will never let myself down ever again. Need a change. Starting from personal habits.

Be proud of myself. And take good care of myself before others. Pls be a grown up. 

choose a person to be

person A

- learn about financial and maximize $? risk!

- Travel around the world.

- I will still continue to work

Person B

- Normal person who shop, eat, surf

- Rely on saving. (hard earn money), I will not earn much max a 3k only with lower qualification.

- Travel around with above saving. 

- be a lifestyle person. be my family chef every thurs or fri? haha.  

Types of job (sg)

Keen in?

- jobs which i enjoy doing or purely work for sake of money?

- what do i enjoy..

I clearly know that I enjoy working on creating things, such as cute stuff, online, animated? looking at kawaii stuff, so shall I pursue in these or shall I do those things which is rountine? I tend to lose focus easily. I know that it means I need a job which has new surprise or creating new things and best is I may still be able to benefit the community. Where on earth there's an interesting job like this. 

Maybe yes, probably it be marketing? Shall I just try out then.... in future take a lower pay>? it means whole life lower pay?

If I am doing creative job, will I sick of it too? how much longer does this passion would lasts?. no ones actually know. 

What is my strength

- a lil creative.

- talk casually and polite?

- I can rather dont talk.

- a lil tech savvy

- quick learner

- not shy. 

- loves to research and love to find out new things

my weakness

- poor language

 - poor organisation

- poor time management (but I've improved a lil, I tend to dwell on things to fine tune things.)

- hates to read but able to listen a lil.

- attention seeker.

-
http://www.16personalities.com/enfj-strengths-and-weaknesses

Why am I still feel so bothered about you.
It's been so long.
I am rather sad that we began. and we turned this bad. I felt myself being so failure. Not being able to love a person whom I truly love. And now, you were gone, and knew you might have anoter and wishes to purchase a new flat. You even look at HDB. did you just do that to every gf you have. Im aint any special actually. I feel no hatred . not a single. just felt wounded. I scrifices you cos I am not a good option for you. I cant live your dream cos im not capable probably just not the girl you dream of.
When on earth can I even meet a true love after this bad relationship. Why humans are fake. Or maybe I've let you goand you really heed my advice as you have nothing to lose and you get better option without any possibility of suffer in future. Perhaps I have to be happy over this that you are finally free and be able to live the life you always wanted. As for me, Im thankful as before that I get to loved you once. I am here to speak. m I will nv love you anymore. though I enjoy loving you.

Anyway, I really hope i can move on soon. I am still sad. Why!
Above just a random of the mini diary owner.

Am I also living in my world too . unwillingly to erase all the moment i wished to keep? Why am I so silly as always.

Allow me to kill this love for you away. Thank you.

Dieting is always in the lists of New year's resolution and wishes for Birthday! Review for MyGenLife Slimming Nectar Drink

Christmas just passed, now I am awaiting for Chinese New Year. A festive where all the young ones excited over to collect ang baos and eat all sort of yummy dishes and goodies. But I believe all ladies out there are alike me, I need to begin my dieting routine again to lose weight before I grow fatter after festive periods.

Let me type down my result for me to keep track.

My target is to lose another 8 kilograms which I am now weigh at 53 kg from 55kg around four days ago after I tried drinking a slimming drink "MyGenLife Slimming Nectar Drink".

I believe that I can reach 47kg in order to maintain an acceptable weight range for my height standing at 155cm.

I really want to say that it does works for me and I love it soooo much that it tasted delicious as it just tastes like apple juice to me. I will never get sick of it and will never make you feel hungry again.

So here's some picture of the wonderful product 

Slimming Nectar drink is a fast acting feel good drink type slimming supplement. The powerful formula of enzymes supercharged with Chestnut Astrigent Skin Extract and Chia Seed provides safest nature’s power for weight loss for life.

Main Ingredients:
- Chestnut Astrigent Skin Extract is a all natural ingredient that supports the reduction of carbohydrate absorption into your body. It improves your diet and helps manage your weight.
- Chia Seed is a great soured of Omega-3 fats and fiber. It helps to boost energy, stabilize your sugar levels and aid in your digestion. It also contains Amino Acid which helps to regulate your appetite. All these ensure you have a trim and healthy figure.
- Fibersol-2 is all natural dietary fiber made from corn which helps support a healthy digestive system.

 It comes in 6 bottles per week packaging @ SGD$49.90. 
If you wish to try out, you can simply get it from Guardian or
from this website
Hannah Holding Website: http://hannah.com.sg/brands?page=shop.browse&category_id=3

OVERALL RATING: I will give it 4.5 stars out of 5 stars.

For the reasons, it is made from natural products it will definitely be one of the healthiest slimming supplements in the market. It does not have any weird yucky taste. It really helps in digestion of food we consumed during the past few festive periods. The only negative will be it make it feel bloated. But if you dont mind afterall as it does help in losing weight which is the ultimate goal. You can try it too.

My new secret to maintain your youthful skin: I'm trying out the newest recommended ITOH COLLAGEN POWDER!!

I've been working till wee hours lately and I realized that my skin is turning dull and dry with having to apply make up on a daily basis since months ago.

That's why I'm starting to worry that my skin will begins to age faster than my actual age in the early 20s. I started to search high and low in pharmacy for skin regime supplements to slower the aging process.

And I will want to shoutout to everyone that Collagen Powder does makes wonders!!!

I have tried two collagen products over these two months. Both of the beauty products were made in Japan.

Both of the products I've tried, all  managed to create wonders on my skin as it helped to return the elastic on my skin which gave me the 'Doink Doink" feeling when I gently touch on my face after a week of consumption.

But I realized that, having a beautiful skin will require alot of efforts in maintenance which may be very tiring and the worst is to tolerate the fishy smell and taste of collagen product.

That's why I really think that I've found a really helpful and wonderful collagen powder below, which is ITOH COLLAGEN POWDER  as it is Color-less,Tasteless,Non-Sugar,Non-fat Collagen Powder.

In addition, it is fuss-free as it comes in convenient packs else I really find it troublesome to pre packed the powder myself in order to bring it to work which will be making me lazy to consume it daily.

Other than that, I always will be so eager to try whichever product which endorsed and well recommended by famous Taiwanese Beauty Guru (Kevin) of the Beauty show <Lady First, 女人我最大> as it will usually work miracle on me.

Here's more information about the about wonderful product and how I usually consumed it:

ITOH COLLAGEN POWDER is a formula of Contain 3000mg of Collagen per sachets, that can be dissolve to any drink or soup.
Can be taken throughout the day. Low Molecular powder enhance the absorpRon of collagen, to capture all the benefits that collagen contributes.

I usually consumed it with soup, fruit juices, my slimming drink or any fluid food as its just tasteless.

HAHA. The white foam will dissolve quickly. no worries that it will not spoil your appetite.

My overall ratings, I will give it a 4 ♥♥♥♥ ratings for ITOH COLLAGEN POWDER over other brands as it is tasteless it will not spoil your drink/dishes when you mix it. It comes in convenient sachet for daily consumption.
It did not make me gain weight. It does works to regain my elasticity and radiance on my skin, which is the most important point. Lastly, it can be easily purchased, it can be found in all Guardian Pharmacy over Singapore and it is also quite affordable for 15 sachets, almost for two weeks of consumption at SGD$ 49.90 only which is below my beauty care budget haha within $50.00. 

yeah! all ladies deserved to stay young always and love yourself more!